


The Best Man

by TheRangress



Category: Stormlight Archive - Brandon Sanderson
Genre: Bachelor Party, Gen, Oathbringer spoilers, background Shadolin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-13
Updated: 2017-12-13
Packaged: 2019-02-14 05:32:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,079
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13000899
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheRangress/pseuds/TheRangress
Summary: Renarin makes speeches.





	The Best Man

“Hey, Renarin,” Adolin asked, turning from his wife. “Do you want to make a speech?”

Renarin paused for a moment. “Yes,” he said, and pushed his chair back.

“Everyone be quiet!” Adolin called, grinning. “My brother’s going to make a speech.”

“I would like to propose a toast,” Renarin said, raising his glass as he stood, “to the noblest person in this room… My sister, Shallan, who has taken on the _tremendous_ burden of being wife to the utter dork that is Adolin Kholin.”

Adolin’s grin didn’t fade. Shallan raised her eyebrows and shrugged.

 

* * *

 

 

Somewhat drunkenly, Renarin clambered onto a chair.

“A toast!” he proclaimed, raising his glass and only spilling slightly. The party wasn’t silenced, so he raised his voice. “A toast!”

“My brother is talking!” Adolin announced. He shushed the bridgemen to either side.

“A toast,” Renarin repeated yet again, nodding to his brother. “A toast for Adolin… the best brother on Roshar.”

“To Adolin!” Lopen announced, raising his glass.

 

* * *

 

“The new Brightness Kholin is, of course,” Renarin continued, “the very last person on Roshar to date my brother. She took on the task of outshining her predecessors, a whitespine, a chull, and a Sadeas, with great nobility.”

On one side of the happy couple, Shallan’s three brothers looked amongst themselves, attempting to judge the situation. On the other, Dalinar and Navani ignored it completely.

 

* * *

 

“I’m not done!” Renarin glared. “A toast…”

“You did that part already, Ren.”

“Oh.” He pouted and took a breath. “Anyway, I… I tried to write the speech so I wouldn’t say anything stupid, but I can’t read my own handwriting so I guess I’m doing this like a man.”

The bridgemen gave an impromptu cheer, until a shout from Kaladin silenced them.

 

* * *

 

“For the sake of time, I will not name all the trials she has endured. However, I am amazed at her strength in braving the stench of cologne for long enough to get within five feet of my brother.”

Shallan leaned in to sniff at her husband’s neck.

 

* * *

 

“I have,” Renarin said, unsteadily holding his glass toward Adolin, “the best brother on Roshar. And I’m glad he’s getting married, because girls are stupid. It wasn’t his fault. It’s not his fault girls are stupid. If they can’t— if they can’t tell Adolin is the best guy, they don’t deserve him. And now, Shallan isn’t stupid. So they’re getting married and… and, well, he deserves that. He deserves people who know he’s great.”

 

* * *

 

‘Now, I’ve known Adolin for several years now.”

Renarin seemed to suddenly notice his audience. He shied back, looking around like a caged animal.

“Oh,” Adolin jumped in, “please, don’t tell the horse story!”

As if he’d breathed Stormlight, Renarin’s face glowed. “Now, there is one person on Roshar that he _has_ failed to court. Not for lack of trying, of course. When he was fourteen, my brother was completely smitten with May Aladar.”

 

* * *

 

“Hey, I know Adolin’s great,” said Skar.

“That’s why you’re here!” Renarin sloshed his wine. “Cause— cause boys are stupid too! Everyone’s stupid but Kholins and Bridge Four! And they’re missing out, cause we… we’ve got Adolin!”

Adolin smiled as he submitted to a gauntlet of back-slaps.

 

* * *

 

“One day, Brightness Aladar graced the field outside the stables with her presence as Adolin and I were riding. He saw an opportunity, and called out to her to watch him as he jumped a course.”

“You encouraged me,” Adolin grumbled.

“Brightness Aladar and I watched as Adolin began to ride to the beginning of the course. He reached the first hurdle… and his horse stopped and _shat._ ”

“Just like you, Adolin!” said Shallan.

“I hate both of you,” he said, head in his hands.

 “After that failed,” Renarin said, “he announced he would stand in the saddle and ride that way. Well, Adolin stood in the saddle. He even stayed on as the horse began to move… for a few moments. Then he fell.”

Adolin groaned.

“Into the horse shit.”

 

* * *

 

“Adolin… he… he’s _good._ He stabs people for me. People… people are bad. And Adolin doesn’t put up with that. He doesn’t just go ‘oh, people are bad’. He goes ‘why are people bad? I’m gonna make them stop being bad!’ And…” Renarin mimed slapping someone around with his free hand. “Cause he loves us, and he wants us to have what we deserve… So now he’s getting what he deserves. Someone to love _him_ the way he loves all of us.”

 

* * *

 

“As always, I came to his rescue,” said Renarin. “Just as I did last night when he came to me in a blind panic…”

“He’s lying.”

“And again this morning…”

“I just needed moral support!”

 

* * *

 

“Yes,” Lopen said, “I too love Adolin like a wife.”

“If you don’t stop talking,” said Renarin, pointing, “I’m gonna… I’m gonna…”

He fell off the chair.

“Ren!” Several people shot up.

 

* * *

 

“Why,” said Renarin, “he even needed to get his poor invalid little brother, who can hardly hold a sword, in order to fight off a mere thunderclast.”

“Hey!” Adolin stood and pointed. “You were _amazing_.”

“Save it for my wedding, brother.”

“I will not. Badmouth me all you like, but don’t sell yourself short!” He crossed behind his father and stepmother to put an arm around his brother. “Ren, you were a hero out there.”

“Is this really the time?” asked Shallan, idly swirling her glass.

“It’s always the time to talk about how great my little brother is!” Adolin put a resigned Renarin in a headlock and tousled his hair around.

“Adolin, please stop,” he said, flatly.

Adolin moved back to his seat as Navani requested another glass of wine. He turned to the Davar brothers. “You weren’t here yet— don’t listen to him, he’s nearly as good as I am with a Blade.”

Renarin looked to Shallan.

“I guess he just loves me more than you.”

She snorted and raised her glass. With a smile, he followed, and they toasted Adolin.

 

* * *

 

“Ow,” he said, flatly. Renarin stood, empty glass in one hand, wine dripping down his clothes. He kicked at his fallen chair, then turned back to Adolin and raised the glass. “So… so I just wanna say… I’m glad Shallan makes you happy. You should be happy.” There were tears in his eyes. “And I’m _proud_ of you, brother.”

Adolin smiled. He shoved chairs aside and pulled Renarin into a hug.

“To Adolin!” Renarin announced, brandishing his glass over Adolin’s shoulder.

“To Adolin!”

 


End file.
